#autistic questioning npd culture is

[narcissisticpdcultureis]

questioning NPD + known Autism culture is getting hyperfixated on something and then one of my friends is better at it than me. no, that’s my thing. you can’t be better than me at MY thing, I have to be the only one interested in this. No, you can’t like it, this is MY interest. please. let me have this.

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[clusterb-pd]

BPD (+NPD?) + Autistic with a special interest in psychology culture is analyzing Crazy Ex Girlfriend like "this isn't her all time low, but it is definitely a local minimum"

-😽

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[cluster-b-culture-is]

questioning hpd + autistic culture is wanting any and all attention unless they’re being mean to you because in that case you’re making me angry and i dont like you you’re going on my block list

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[borderline-culture-is]

Daily click for Palestine(and the other causes)

Blog introduction post

Who is this blog for?

This blog is for anyone with BPD and/or BPD traits. Other cluster B disorder havers and those without who want to learn are also welcome, although submissions are preferred to be BPD focused and sent by pwBPD and/or BPD traits.

Why this blog?

I'm not sure what happened to the other BPD culture is blog, but it was either nerfed or deleted, and I haven't seen any sign of return or a new blog, so I decided to make one. If the original account owner didn't want a creation of another one, please tell me!!!

DNI/BYF [do not interact] [before you follow]

Ableists

Proshippers

TERFs/radfems

Anti-recovery peeps

General DNI criteria

Cluster b abuse believers

We accept self-diagnosis.

You can vent, but we may not always know how to respond. We are a person, too.

We will also try to tag triggers accordingly.

Sending asks

Start every ask with "BPD culture is," "BPD traits culture is," "questioning/suspected BPD culture is," or something along those lines.

Extra info under cut

About the mod 🌕🥃

Hello, we're the moonshine collective. Bodily 16 y/o, collectively he/they, traumagenic system. We have BPD and NPD, among other things. Our main blog is @deepmilkshakepeach. If you want to visit it, it also has a masterlist of alters and their sign-offs and blogs.

About the other mod

Hello! I'm mod ghost. I'm in my 20's. I volunteered to help moderate because this is a heavy undertaking. I don't interact with the other mods much, I'm just here to help lighten the load. I have BPD, C-PTSD and a bit of depwession. My personal blog is private because I split a lot there and I prefer to keep it in my own little corner of the internet.

About the third mod

Hi! I'm the Fandom mod. I'm a non-binary(they/them unless specifically stated otherwise) minor w BPD, most likely HPD and questioning for more PDs. I'm also autistic and have ADHD. I volunteered to be a mod because there are a lot of submissions here and I wanted to help. I didn't wanna share my personal blog but then realised nobody, including me, gives a fuck and it's mostly reblogs anyway @suckerforrosekiller

Take care everyone!

info posts

sign-offs

FP definition

Splitting definition

BPD and BP

BPD and autism

BPD and C-PTSD

our experience determining BPD self dx

supporting a pwBPD

Misc posts :]!

SPOTIFY PLAYLIST

Tags

#bpd culture is - asks and submission posts

#bpd questions - questions about BPD

#bpd information

#bpd positivity

#not bpd culture

Blog boosts

@narcissisticpdcultureis @hpdcultureis @pluralcultureis @aspd-bpd-culture @ppd-culture-is @cluster-b-culture-is @host-culture-is

[syscultureis]

Welcome to our System culture blog!

Every other plural culture blog we've seen has always been pro endo, tulpa, and other non-traumagenic systems.

We are not, while our views from alter to alter vary, we consider ourselves as a whole anti-nontraumagenic

We use plural because we've used it to describe ourselves since before we even knew what a system was. It is not us "reclaiming" or "stealing" the term, it's us using a term we have always, and will always, use. Stop sending asks about it (please)

About us and our blog!

Submit asks about how being plural affects you! We'll post it either with a response to it, or just on its own.

Non-traumagenic and their supporters are not welcome here. Mixed orgins systems included with that. (Being neutral on endos is fine, just be aware that we are anti endo here)

Don't be worried to submit the more negative stuff, we'll try to add trigger warning best we can

We're bodily 20 and a system of about 40 known alters.

This blog is for any kind of traumagenic system. OSDD, DID, P-DID, Polyfragmented, etc. If you want to start your ask with your specific type of system go for it!

We don't want to be a syscourse blog, but we can't promise there won't be any. We will tag it as syscourse though

Singlets (non-systems) are welcome to follow and interact (politely) and if you have questions you can ask! We may not have all the answers but we'll answer what we can

This blog is to share experiences with our community, the good and the bad

Swearing is okay, but please try to keep slurs out of asks. You can censor them if they need to be used.

We are bodily disabled, so don't be mean about physical disabilities

Go ahead and send in things about comoridity as well! Example: "Plural autistic culture is..."

This system uses neo pronouns!! And supports xenogenders!!

This blog supports people with all disorders, and we will do our best to avoid posting asks that use terms like "narcissistic abuse" as we believe it adds stigma to disorders such as NPD

Please don't use the term "Core" in our asks when referring to the first host. It's an outdated term that basically means "first and original alter" which isn't really a thing, and we don't like promoting misinformation like that, especially when it very often promotes the idea that one alter is more real and important than the others

Feel free to spam the ask box as much as you want

We are not an informational blog, lots of this stuff is light hearted and humorous. We joke about things the same way people do with any other disorder. Do not take everything at face value, if you're going to clarify or correct information just be nice or we're going to block you regardless of if we agree or not

Please also note that depending on who's fronting our views may vary, one alter does not speak for our entire system. Not even if they claim to, there is almost nothing we all agree on wholeheartedly. If an issue arises we will do our best to control and adress it.

Brief summary for those that can't read long things:

- xeno genders welcome

- cluster b disorders supported

- non-traumagenic and supporters not welcomed

- not every post has to be positive

- singlets welcome

- try to avoid syscourse

- self diagnosis is valid

- We are not an informational blog, most of this these

posts are joking or having fun

Link to our discord servers (let us know if it doesn't work):

[transgender-culture]

Blog Info!

This blog is for anyone who isn't cisgender, if you are a demigirl/demiboy or bigender or genderfluid you can still send in asks to this blog <3

Please send in any asks starting with "Trans culture is" or a varition of that (specifics can be included like "transfem culture is" "genderfluid culture is" "disabled trans culture is" "autistic trans culture is")

You can send in questions to but please state that it is a question and I may not be able to answer it myself but I'm sure others may help you <3

"Trans Eggs" are very much welcome on this blog, you can send in asks and ask questions to people and hopefully this blog can help you figure some things out <3

I might be able to post too often since I am in highschool but I will try to keep an active queue and respond to things when I can <3

DNI:

- transphobes obviously

- homophobes

- racists

- ableists

- zionists

- "narc abuse" believers

- anti-pd

- endo systems

About The Admin:

I'm a queer trans boy in highschool

You can call me Alex or Bunny

I use he/it/star/bun pronouns :3

I have autism and ADHD, I have a special interest in psychology, marble hornets, scene/emo culture and LGBT history

I have symptoms of BPD and NPD and have fairly low empathy so I'm sorry if I'm not good at helping with certain things

[divine-collective]

What can I get you?

We're the divine System!

Basic info

Our collective names is Vincent & Gabriel. We use he/it/they/she <-order of preference. We are trans demiaroace gay man and are bodily 16 year old. We have dyslexic, autism, bpd + npd, arfid and c-did. We are taken so don't flirt with us unless we are close and is a joke. We have a headcount of 30+.

Below cut: byi + dni, interests.

BYI + DNI

Byi: We use we/us and i/me interchangeably, we need tone indicators alot of the time, we take longer to process stuff, we might disappear as we have a low social battery, we struggle with our memory alot, some alters might not say they are fronting but you can ask.

Dni: basic dni list, -13 % +25 y/o, non-traumagenic systems, hates our interests/favs /srs, supports problematic medias, acts weird around introjects, cringe culture, if you think you're better than me/or likes interests more /srs, disorder abuse (e.g. npd abuse), NSFW blogs.

Interests

nso, dead plate, ddlc, omori, sharks, cats, birds, pjsk, genshin, r1999, vocaloids, spiderman(itsv + atsv), i saw the tv glow, hello kitty, tyler the creator, mitski, car seat headrest, twf, gen loss, ranboo, jack manifold, the smiths, chappell roan, fashion.

[text from top left to bottom right: "This system identifies with Rabies Pride". "This system splits fictives easily due to being autistic." "This system uses I/me and we/us pronouns interchangeably". "This system is often blurry." "This system has very poor memory, please be patient". "This system LOVES talking about their system. Please ask questions about them!"

We will do alter intros soon so people know who's who!

Credits: dividers by dissociativeplate (cant find og links), Rody graphic is by llocket, and userboxes has links to them!

[aspd-culture]

Do you have any like actual tips for pro-socials who have antisocial loved ones, like friends or partners? So many sites are like “dealing with a [x]? Here’s ten ways to handle it!” and then it details abusive tactics (which is blatantly stupid, IMO, pwaspd/npd already expect the world to do this to them so idk where they’re getting the idea that pwaspd/npd wouldn’t expect this behavior because their upbringing TRAINED them to expect this behavior but hey, nobody said ableists actually knew what the fuck they were talking about).

I personally struggle with an aspd trait here or there alongside a bigger bpd/npd comorbidity so I get the pathological aspect of this disorder but truly, it is hard to like. believe them when they say they care or whatever because even though I know, mentally, that the bare minimum is pretty much their way of trying to care when they don’t get anything out of it like I do, a small part of me wishes for the mask back where I got the effort and adoration I used to. It sucks but I also don’t think pwaspd should also be left behind in society just because their relational instincts got fucked up before they had a chance.

Idk. I feel like there’s a lot of ableism that people without aspd need to unpack (myself included) but it’s also like, what do you do when someone quite literally admits to manipulating you (in an effort to hold themselves accountable) and frequently lies to make their lives easier? Like I get it Mentally and I can pinpoint why their actions Are them trying to care and show care, especially if they actually do care and well, aspd innit? but the mental understanding is one thing and the craving for the emotional connection with them is another.

I hope this is cohesive and I hope I’m not imposing or being an ableist dick or anything, I just. Don’t think it’s fair to hold the disorder against them and a grand majority of people who think “HOLD THEM ACCOUNTABLE” about mental illness advocacy is almost always punitive and withholding and expecting an exorbitant amount of groveling or self-flagellation on part of those with “scary” disorders and idk how to approach this with sensitivity and nuance that it deserves and requires.

Ok, so first part of your question asked for tips for prosocials who have antisocial loved ones. Here I go into how to support someone with ASPD (suspected or diagnosed).

Following the tips further down in this post can avoid conflict as well as help you communicate in ways that are effective to pwASPD.

As for dealing with someone telling you they are manipulating you, try and remember that much of the socially acceptable (and even some mandatory behaviors) are manipulation. Manipulation is just trying to affect someone's feelings, thoughts, or actions, or trying to change the end result of a situation. This includes flirting, job interviews, college applications/essays, pay raise negotiations, court proceedings (on the part of everyone in that room except the judge and jury), etc etc etc. If you have ever apologized with the hope or expectation that you will be forgiven, you have manipulated for your own gain. If you've ever bought someone dinner before asking them a favor, you have manipulated someone. One of the most romantic things someone can do - an elaborate proposal where you take them on a lovely date to their favorite places and make them feel special and then list all of your favorite things about the person before asking them to be with you forever is MASSIVE manipulation. It's just not malicious manipulation. Have you ever tried to convince someone to get out of an abusive relationship? That's manipulation for the purpose of sabotaging a relationship because you believe it is what is best for another person, even at the expense of what they think about it and what they want. Does that make it wrong? Of course not. There is such a thing as being manipulative in neutral and/or positive ways - society just doesn't like calling all of that stuff manipulation because the word manipulation has been given a nasty connotation.

As for the lying, though, if they are lying to *you* consistently and not making effort to change despite communication about it (including reassurance that you will allow them to explain themselves fully without interrupting and do your best to remain calm even after that no matter what they tell you - people with ASPD need that if you expect us to give up a coping mechanism as big as lying in a close, vulnerable relationship/friendship that we don't want to lose), that is a problem. It is not acceptable for them to lie to you. You are entirely in your right to make boundaries and separate yourself if they can't be honest with you, especially about big/important things, but honestly about anything. If they're lying to other people in a way that doesn't affect you, though, why is that a problem? They are dealing with their symptoms and making certain they are doing so in a way that doesn't harm you. That is very difficult for someone with ASPD, as it would be for anyone with any personality disorder, and that effort should be respected and appreciated.

Also who *doesn't* do things to make their lives easier? If you were being asked by a creep at a bar for your number, would you give it to them? Would you maybe lie about having a partner or give them a fake number or say you had to go for a pretend emergency to get out? Yes, those lies are for your perceived safety because that situation could be dangerous, but for pwASPD (people with ASPD), every interaction with other people has as much potential for danger as the situation I described. It is understandable to not be used to seeing things that way, but that was our life during vital stages of development and there are things we had to do to adapt to that reality. ASPD literally changes how your brain is wired, so there is only so much that you can expect us to change, and one thing you cannot expect from most of us is to get rid of that belief that we are in danger. Trying to only really makes us see *you* as a danger trying to get our guard down so you can hurt us.

I also don't think "the bare minimum" is a fair way to describe the way pwASPD show love. It not being what you're used to is not the same as it being the bare minimum. It takes an exceptional amount of work on the part of someone with ASPD to try to understand, accommodate, communicate with, and avoid hurting prosocials what with all the extra effort that requires for us. We literally work more than a prosocial does to be "extra" in a relationship just to manage what you call the bare minimum. What is caring about someone if not inconveniencing yourself purely for the sake of understanding them and making them happy? What is love if not effort?

I do understand wishing for the mask to come back, but as someone who has disorders you mentioned in your ask, I'm hoping you understand why asking them to do that would be unfair, unrealistic, and ableist. However, it is none of those things to privately miss that time, and it sounds to me like you're doing the latter which is in no way problematic in my opinion.

There are ways to ask for some of their previous behavior and treatment back without asking them to mask again, if it's things that aren't symptoms of ASPD themselves. For example, if they initiated hangouts/dates more often before, it's completely reasonable to ask them to do that again. If they no longer are expressing interest in your emotions, you can address that concern. Things like that don't have to be asking them to mask - it can just be asking them to do some things within your love language. That's not unreasonable if you're being kind, communicating with them, and making sure your requests are made within reasonable expectations with their symptoms.

You're allowed to have needs and most pwASPD will respect you much more if you can effectively communicate exactly what they are, rather than a generic "I don't feel like you care about me as much anymore" or expecting us to read social cues we aren't wired to understand/look for. I have given (and stick by!) more than one pwASPD the advice to not engage with guessing games and make boundaries expecting their partners to communicate in a way they can understand easily - and thus to not adjust behavior unless they have been told that it is causing harm unless it is *blatantly obvious*. When I say that, I don't mean obvious to prosocials; I mean things like physical or sexual abuse. Even raised voices are pretty normal to plenty of pwASPD, to the point where it isn't obvious that that would scare or hurt someone.

However, if no amount of simple behavioral changes or verbal reassurance can convince you that someone with ASPD cares about you without them basically not having the disorder or letting you cherrypick allowed symptoms, then I feasibly see two choices for you. This isn't me trying to be a jerk, just being objective to what I think makes sense for you and them. The first is that you can put in the work yourself to unlearn the ways that you're used to care being shown to allow you to accommodate your loved ones with ASPD without feeling hurt. If that isn't something that can work for you, that's okay. It's okay to have boundaries and be honest with yourself about what things you are incompatible with. However, at that point, the only thing to do that would be fair in my opinion is to separate yourself from the people with ASPD that are in your life.

I'm not suggesting you never speak to them again (although you are certainly allowed to make that choice for yourself). I'm suggesting you may need to restructure your relationships with those people such that feeling like they don't care (so long as they are doing their best to show they do) won't negatively impact you. In other words, for example, if you can't handle a partner showing they care the way they do because of their ASPD, then it's your job to end that relationship with them and either entirely remove yourself from their life, or just be friends.

If that's the choice you need to make for yourself, then I think it's important that you stress to them that this is not anything they have done wrong or need to work on - that it is an issue with how you are able perceive people caring about you. It's hard to say this in a way that won't sound ableist, because admittedly the issue would be rooted in some societal ableism (not really ableism on your part, just that the way children are taught to perceive love is incompatible with ASPD and even other disorders that can affect empathy and such).

It is very important to note that most of this does not apply if what you are dealing with is abuse - meaning for the purposes of this that they know they are hurting you, they are in control of the behavior that is hurting you, and are choosing to continue it without making any effort to change despite you clearly communicate your pain and what exactly is causing it. To evaluate that, you need to be objective and really ask yourself if you're coming from a reasonable place or not. Are you asking this person to either not have a disorder or allow you to pick and choose what symptoms you find acceptable? Or are you communicating boundaries to protect your wellbeing and making compromises that work for both of you while respecting their past and their symptoms? Those are two very different things, and there are shades of gray inbetween. Asking another prosocial who has not intentionally worked to unlearn their ableism against ASPD and done their research into its symptoms or a pwASPD who has not taken reasonable steps to heal their trauma and not hurt those close to them is not going to be truly objective. If you have a therapist who is aware of and respectful of ASPD, they would be a relatively objective place to evaluate what is abusive vs symptoms they can't be expected to control, assuming you could keep your language neutral (moreso than in your ask, which while not disrespectful or ableist, was definitely not entirely neutral). However, as a person with ASPD I would always prefer my partner speak to me about their concerns over my behavior before they ask anyone else - so if you haven't done that, I would certainly advise you to start there.

Even if any of the things I said are ableist or are rooted in ableism apply to you, it's worth noting I'm not saying or implying you are ableist yourself. Evidently, you came to a blog to get help with this situation from someone who understands the perspective of your loved one as much as possible, and that shows you likely aren't ableist - but as you mentioned one can have ableism to unlearn while not being ableist themselves. Please do not take any of this post as aggressive or attacking. It was all written in a neutral tone, I promise. I am aware how my text tone can come off to prosocials, which is why I specify this. If I was upset with the ask or thought you were just an ableist person or that the ask was disrespectful/not in good faith, I would just delete it.

I hope this helps and if you have or need any clarification, have any other questions, etc. you are more than welcome to submit them to me./gen

[pda-culture-is]

About Blog

Welcome to pda-culture-is!

Inspired from other culture blogs such as @autism-culture-is @ndcultureis @cluster-b-culture-is @narcissisticpdcultureis and more!

This blog is for autistics with Pathological Demmand Avoidance to share their experiences.

Examples of starting off an ask:

PDA culture is

Autistic PDA culture is

PDA + (other disorders) culture is

Questioning PDA culture is

Informed self diagnosis is accepted here, even if you don't plan on getting a professional diagnosis

DNI

basic dni (racism, sexism, ableism, queerphobia, fatphobia, ect.)

transmeds, TERFs, exlusionists, transID

anyone who demonizes stigmatized disorders, believes in "narcissistic abuse", participates in "cringe culture", misuse terms such as intrusive thoughts, narcissist, sociopath, delusional ect.

pro-contact/anti-consent harmful paras

NSFW blogs, ED or SH blogs unless they are based on recovery

anti-self-dx

Other things to add:

don't say "going nonverbal/semiverbal" as they are pernament states, what you can use instead is verbal shutdown or speech loss

you can swear in asks but don't use slurs

in the case your ask mentions abuse, ableism, ed, s/h, suicide or anything of the like, its appreciated if you put a warning on top. we tag with both "(x) tw" and "tw (x)" just in case

in case you send an image with text, it is appreaciated if you add an image description if able

you can also add signatures (emojis, names), we'll keep track of them

we're open to questions but it is unsure wether we can answer

hate messages will be ignored and deleted

About Admin

Collective Info: Dave, he/they/it, Transmasc Non-Binary AroAce

We're a DID system with NPD, BPD, and of course Autism hence this blog. We won't be sharing much about us.

Our stance on syscourse doesn't matter on this blog so anyone can send in questions and interact

[selfdxculture]

prof dx autism + questioning self dx npd culture is not being sure whether you feel lonely because you feel smarter than other people because you might have npd or if thats just an autistic trait

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[queer-queries]

hello all! welcome to my queer advice blog!

this is my blog where i will do my best to give any advice on queer-related topics to those who need some! i know there are plenty of blogs like this already, but i wanted to make my own because i know that if i had had someone to ask these questions to when i was struggling, it would’ve saved me so much pain, so i want the chance to be for someone the person that i wish i’d had! below is some basic information about me and this blog!

about me-

- my name is reign and my pronouns are she/her

- i am a queer/genderqueer aroace sapphic bi lesbian

- i am autistic and have ADHD, OCD, depression, and NPD

- i am not a minor, but i am not really an adult either. i don’t pretend to be some queer expert, especially since i’m young, but i still have some knowledge and advice and want to put that to good use.

- i love music, writing, poetry, songwriting, queer theory, and queer studies

- i am a staunch inclusionist when it comes to the queer community. i think policing queer terms is the antithesis of queer solidarity and does literally no good. sometimes lesbians are bisexual and/or guys. sometimes trans women use he/him pronouns. sometimes your gender is related to flowers. get over it. i will not tolerate exclusionism on my page.

about this blog-

- you can ask for advice on anything queer-related

- you can vent about negative experiences or share positive experiences

- you can ask respectful questions about queer topics/identities you don’t understand

- i will post about queer validation, queer solidarity, and queer joy

- i will occasionally share my own experiences

- i will not give medical advice (so if you need medical advice in terms of transition, i highly recommend the blogs @genderpunks and @transgenderteensurvivalguide )

boundaries-

- do not use they/them pronouns on me

- do not send me discourse. i will delete it.

- do not interact with me if you are bigoted in any way.

- if you are a queer exclusionist but you still need advice on something, you can send an ask and i will still answer you because all queer people deserve kindness in their questioning. but if you bring your exclusionism into it or try to invalidate me or others, your ask will not be answered.

that’s pretty much it for now! could i get a boost? @justlgbtthings @genderpunks @transgenderteensurvivalguide @trans-mom @stopcannibalizingourown @genderkoolaid @wearequeer-andwearehere @makingqueerhistory @1000lesbians @soft-sapphic-love @kenochoric @neopronouns @sapphicspoonie @sapphic-sprite @intersexfairy @queerasfact @queercutlureis @our-queer-experience @aspecpplarebeautiful @genderqueerpositivity @aroace-people-are-lgtbq @aro-culture-is @aroaceconfessions @transenbyconfessions 

[narcissisticpdcultureis]

same questioning NPD/known autism anon as before, anyways uh I get super angry when someone knows more about my special interest than me. That’s. That’s MY special interest, I have dedicated years of my life to this and learning about it and you think you can just come in here and tell me something I didn’t know? Who do you think you are? I know EVERYTHING about this. Don’t try to prove me wrong.

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[chronicallycozygamer]

Hi everyone! Thank you for stopping by!

You can call me Hex. I’m nonbinary transmasc and uses he/they/it (anything that isn’t feminine). I’m a disabled gamer who’s passionate about sharing my love for the hobby and this is where I’ll do it. As a child and teen, I would play for hours upon hours without breaks (is it a surprise that I’ve been since diagnosed as autistic and ADHD?) but unfortunately as I grew up, I developed a bunch of illnesses and conditions - some already existing but milder - that now affect my ability to play games.

My hands are pretty weak, my reflexes aren’t working right anymore and I get pains and migraines after a while, which means that I needed to change how I played, and what I played. This is how I started playing more casual games, more accessible games, more games that will not punish me for not being able to push A, B, A, X, left, right, in quick succession.

What you’ll find here:

Gaming rants, about games or gaming culture in general

Casual game reviews (I will focus on accessibility, storyline, gameplay, but you won’t hear about graphics, performance and all of that)

Health talk (both physical and mental)

Social justice

Games fanart, official art, cosplay, etc

I will not tolerate:

Ableism of any kind, including vilification of cluster B disorders like NPD

Any sort of exclusionary behaviour, gatekeeping, or hate towards the LGBTQIA+ community

Any racism, antisemitism, or xenophobia

Any right wing/conservative bs, I’m as far left as you can be.

“Git gud” attitude or “this paraplegic guy can play with his mouth, why can’t you?” sort of thing - disabled people are not all the same and it’s not because someone can do something that everyone else can (re:ableism).

Unsolicited medical advice - I’m chronically ill, turmeric and yoga will not cure me. Yes, I tried. Chances are I’ve tried everything you’ll suggest.

Please feel free to message me any game recommendations, suggestions, questions, etc!

[cluster-b-culture-is]

Questioning NPD with diagnosed autism culture is wanting to be the most knowledgeable on your special interest (and being upset at anyone who knows more about it than you)

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[notabled-noodle]

FAQs about my DNI

this post is now linked in my pinned posts. after this, I will not be answering any more questions for my own comfort. take it on faith that if you do not understand a component of a DNI, it is probably because it does not apply to you.

what counts as “shipping discourse”?

honestly, I just mean people who will turn my posts into a proship vs antiship war zone, or who will bring up either side of the shipping debate out of context. as a survivor, both sides of this debate can become deeply triggering for me, and I don’t want to see it.

what counts as “lesbian separatism”?

anyone who thinks that “gold star lesbianism” is real or important, anyone who thinks that bi women should be “politically lesbian”, anyone who thinks that lesbians can’t use pronouns other than she/her, or anyone else who goes out of their way to gatekeep the lesbian community.

what’s wrong with Harry Potter?

for one, it is a piece of fiction that is incredibly racist, sexist, and antisemitic. for two, JK Rowling has openly stated that she views support for Harry Potter as support for her own rancid views concerning trans people, disabled people, and other minority groups. as a trans autistic person… I don’t want to see that shit

who is queerautism?

a tumblr blog who used to harass me, and who has openly supported some really shitty stuff that I’d rather not get into again. I’ve talked more on this elsewhere, but just trust me — I don’t want that shit anywhere near me.

antitheism vs atheism?

an atheist is someone who doesn’t believe in a higher power or doesn’t subscribe to any particular religion. that’s fine, because I really do not care what people believe.

antitheism is a belief that religion is fundamentally harmful and should be abolished — they think religion is bad under all circumstances. this is bad because antitheism is essentially advocating for destruction of minority cultures and for genocide.

what do you mean when you say “ND for spiritual reasons”?

there are people (both online and offline) who believe that autistic people are changelings, that psychotic people are possessed, and that neurodivergence is a sign of either being a superhero or being some kind of daemon. for personal reasons, I do not want to interact with these people. thanks.

what is “narc abuse”?

“narc abuse” is the belief that people with NPD (narcissistic personality disorder) are inherently abusive or always cause harm to the people around them. it’s ableist and outright false.

[violentviolette]

So I was on your fandom blog and I saw that you believe Bakugou (at least in assuming) to have ASPD. Is wondering if you could expand on that? I personally see him as NPD but I'd love to hear your side of things

first off anon bless u for being on my fandom blog that takes courage cause it’s a wicked hot mess over there lol and secondly to everyone else yes im about to spend an embarrassing amount of effort overanalyzing an anime man, no u shouldn’t apply this logic to diagnosing real people u don’t know or urself, no its not that deep but yes u can fuck right off if u wanna cry about me headcanoning ur favs with “shitty” illnesses. eat my dick.

But now down to the good shit! So I actually think bakugou has comorbid aspd/npd. But for this since u said u already see him as having npd I’ll just focus on the aspd criteria but im totally down to talk more about npd as well if u wanna. (the rest is under a cut because frankly mobile users would have drawn and quartered me otherwise)

So first im gonna go thru the dsm v criteria that are required for diagnosis that bakugou fits/exhibits (leaving out the few things that don’t pertain to him just for length and also because not every person has to fit every single criteria to qualify)

1. Significant impairments in personality as manifested by

a. identity (self esteem derived from power, pleasure, or personal gain), self direction (goal setting based on personal gratification, absence of prosocial standards and culturally normal ethical behavior)

katsukis entire sense of self is built upon his ability to “win” and to always be number one and come out on top. He absolutely cant stand to be viewed as less than that because if so, his entire sense of self begins to crumble. Part of the reason he’s so antagonistic towards Izuku in the early chapters is the fact that Izuku challenges that identity. He (unintentionally and intentionally) challenges katsuki and wont give way to him (which is the right thing to do, but we see how “well” katsuki handles that). He also doesn’t have a good sense of “prosocial standards.” katsuki has created his own internal sense of morals and values, he’s decided whats worth his time and effort based on his own opinions and not on what society deems worthwhile behavior. He’s constantly getting admonished that his attitude “isn’t that of a hero” because his values are different than the ones of the society around him. But he doesn’t care, as long as he “wins” then everythings good. And its not until he stops “winning” and his behavior begins to get in the way of his goals does he begin to realize that he has a problem.

b. impairments in interpersonal functioning as manifested by lack of empathy (lack of concern for feelings, needs, or suffering of others) and lack of intimacy (incapacity for mutually intimate relationships, use of dominance or intimidation to control others)

I could frankly write a whole essay about just this bit alone but I’ll try to condense my thoughts. So. Lets talk about katsukis lack of empathy. This boy wouldn’t know another person’s emotions if they walked up and punched him in the face. Which they do. On multiple occasions. But I digress. Katsuki is known for his shitty bedside manner, his lack of concern for the feelings of others is literally what cost him his provisional license, but aside from with Izuku (who we’ve established is a source of Baggage for katsuki and shouldn’t be counted among his normal behavior because at the start of the series they BOTH bring out the worst in one another and overcoming that is part of both of their character arcs and growth and a main theme of the damn story. Win and save. Save and win. Ahem. But again I digress) katsuki isn’t vindictive or cruel in an unnecessary way about other peoples emotions. He doesn’t use them against people, it just doesn’t occur to him that they exist. But as we see katsuki grow and begin to try and change his unhealthy behavior, we see that he’s not oblivious of others emotions in the same way todoroki is (who I headcanon as autistic along with izuku (who also has adhd), but that’s a whole nother post lol), he just doesn’t know what to do with them. He can handle things like kirishima feeling insecure, because he can logically talk to him about how strong he is to encourage and support him, but really struggles with more intimate and open forms of emotional support, like with Izuku.

He also struggles with forming prosocial bonds and friends. At the start of the series katsuki doesn’t have friends, he has lackeys he controls with intimidation and fear because he doesn’t know any other way to be. He has trust and intimacy issues and doesn’t like people getting too close to him because he feels displays of vulnerability are what makes someone weak (see those asocial morals and values we talked about earlier). After his time at UA, a few large helpings of some humble pie, and the diligent and hard work of a small group of fearless idiots (aka kaminari whose literally too prosocial for his own good and has zero self preservation instincts, and kirishima who has an endless supply of patience and understands empathy and other peoples emotions to a degree that’s baffling to me) he is able to start deconstructing that idea and realizing that u can be vulnerable and let people close to u and still be strong. That the mortifying ordeal of being known isn’t actually the worst things ever. Also that when confronted with people who aren’t actually afraid of him, he doesn’t know how else to deter them from getting close to him. The fact that none of the other kids in 1-A take katsukis shit and even go so far as to pick on him and mock him and call him out on his bullshit is a MAJOR turning point for his socialization skills.

2. pathological personality traits in the following catagories

a. antagonism, characterized by hostility (persistent and frequent angry feelings, anger or irritability in response to minor slights or insults, nasty mean vengeful behavior), callousness (lack of concern for the feelings and problems of others)

I mean. Do I even have to expand on this point? I feel like no

b. disinhibition, characterized by impulsivity (acting on the spur of the moment in response to immediate stimuli, acting without a plan or consideration for outcomes, difficulty establishing and following plans), risk taking (lack of concern for ones limitations and denial of the reality of personal danger, engaging in potentially risky and self-damaging activities without regard for consequences)

this is a criteria where u have to adjust for the world these characters are living in. but even then, by hero standards, katsuki is still impulsive. His teachers are constantly admonishing him in the early series for charging headfirst into a situation, loosing himself to his emotions and anger, and letting things get the better of him because hes not taking the time to properly assess the situation, this also bleeds into katsukis inability to work with others or ask for help. He charges headfirst into a situation by himself, blows up anything in his way, and then asks questions later. His teammates are often left totally in the dark to his plans, motives, or other moves and have to just play catch up to him the entire time. In the deku vs. kacchan 1 fight we see this behavior come out in full force. He has no plan, he blows up half the building with zero regard for their goals, and leaves iida completely in the dark. Momo pointing this all out and dragging him for filth during the recap is another wakeup moment for him, having to confront the realities of his impulsive and negative behavior whereas before he was only praised for it.

so if we take a look at even just that, which is still about ¾ of the diagnostic criteria, I think u can see where this really starts to explain his personality. Katsuki is hot headed, angry, impulsive, stubborn, selfish, he gets in his own way more often than not, he struggles with prosocial behavior, making friends, and relating emotionally to others. He has a hard time comforting people and usually does so in a blunt and logical way, he isn’t great at sympathy and being soft, kind, or gentle with other people. It takes a considerable amount of effort for him to realize where his world view and his morals and goals are warped and doing him more harm than good, and he absolutely cant stand to be vulnerable or honest about his feelings with others. 

All those things, imo, as someone with aspd & npd, are what make me feel like hes a good character representation of what the complexities of living with these disorders is like. Katsuki isn’t inherently a bad person, and as we see him grow and change, we see the ways in which hes becoming better, but its still hard for him. And despite what a lot of fandom thinks, if u look at the canon, the main person katsuki hurts with his behavior is himself. And I think that’s really important because people with aspd & npd are so often catagorized as abusive villians whose only goal in life is to hurt others. Whereas with katsuki we see where these things and this kind of thinking gets in the way of his goals and ultimately hurts him. and thats what I think makes him the most relatable and makes his growth all the much more satisfying. Katsuki is both fundamentally the same and an entirely different person from when we first meet him. his personality didn’t magically completely change, hes not just a tsundere whose suddenly all mushy feely and hyper empathetic, he’s just learning how to deal with his emotions and the world and getting better at being a healthy person.

So yea, those are my thoughts! There was apparently a whole 1600 words of them so my apologies for writing u a literal dissertation on this lol I just really love this fucking character